Patient care is very rewarding but it can also be very difficult. It can be made even more difficult by a patient’s family member demanding things that just aren't possible. As a nurse you need to understand where they are coming from to diffuse the situation so you can continue to treat your patient in the highest possible form.

A family member is one of our best allies in patient care. They know the patient best and can be a great resource to interpret or translate why a patient is reacting a certain way or not coping with a situation. However, as a nurse or RN you've come across a difficult family member before. They've yelled and blamed you for things you may not even have done, and everything you did just made things worse.  In this blog, I hope to give you some tips to help calm them down.

Most difficult people stem from a number of things; fear, misunderstandings, and even feelings of inadequacy can turn a normally calm person into one that can make your job a miserable one.  One of the first steps in calming them down is to listen. Show them empathy and respect, and let them speak their mind. Most of the time they just need to hear themselves speak to help them process their feelings and vent. While they are venting it's very important you do not take it personally and to stay calm and not react.

If they blame you for something, again just listen, and when they are done, ask them what you can do to help. Enlisting them to help in the situation can usually diffuse the situation into something more manageable.  Another way to keep a family member from becoming difficult is to keep them informed. Many difficult situations arise from a person feeling like they are out of the loop. Make sure they know an approximate schedule of the day's events each day.

If they need to talk to the doctor there are a number of ways to do so.  You can let them know what time the doctor usually makes their rounds. This is usually early in the mornings, so they may have to take off work, but it may be worth it to get some answers to their questions. You can even have them leave a message with the doctor's nurse and have the doctor call them. Make sure the family member is informed when the doctor usually returns non-emergency calls.

Just remember that everyone has their own set of issues and ways to cope with stress. They may yell, scream and blame you for everything. Remember, it's not personal and they are going through a hard time. In the end, we want to calm them down as quickly as possibly because we don't want their issues to take priority over quality patient care.